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maryooooo

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[07 Apr 2007|09:33pm]
byebye lj.

[03 Apr 2007|05:49pm]



whatever, things do not change - people do.

i'm not closing doors to any friendships, people always do come around. but you know what, i think it's important to forgive but not forget. history tends to repeat itself especially when it comes to highschool, girls, and drama. 

really though, i'm not going to let shit-talking girly drama go to my head and get the best of me any more than it already has. i have some true honest good friends. i have friends that actually care about me and don't give a shit about their pathetic reputation or the constantly changing, trendy image they put out there. who cares how many gay highschool parties you go to, or how many people you know? who cares when it really comes down to it? no one. no one cares after you're constantly basing your friendships on status and popularity. people see right through it. 

trust me, we all go through the partypartyparty phase. but honestly, grow the fuck up, learn who truly matters, and figure out who the fuck you actually are. regardless of the stupid shit, you're what you own and you're all you've got. 

hate me for speaking the truth, but thats how it is and thats who you've all become - snotty, trendy, egotistical, knowitall bitches. enjoy life girls. it's not that life won't get much better, it's just you and i both know you've dug yourself too deep to ever get out. never will you be able to hold your head high in dignity. life has become trash. 

"these are the times of fast food and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time where there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom." george carling said it best.  i really just guess i don't have pet peeves, I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. whatever. thats life.

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[21 Mar 2007|02:50pm]
twelve reasons why gay marriage will ruin our society.

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears's 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.

10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians. 

hahh.

[16 Mar 2007|04:43pm]
so that boy, that i talked about before. GOT EEEEMS. hell fucking yes.

[14 Mar 2007|06:15pm]
i think this one boy is the hottest guy in the world ever. so fucking hot and hskjfhd. like he makes me so happy and he has the grossest girlfriend ugh. i hate to do it again, but avril, you got me again with the whole "i don't like your girlfriend" song. you really really really got me. but i think he'll cheat on her with me. but whatever. i don't want a boyfriend right now. but damn he's so fucking hot. theres like three of them actually. i'm going to go watch i love new york. awesome. and i'm getting a new phone tomorrow. probably a sidekick just because i want one i guess. awesome!
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[14 Mar 2007|01:42pm]
And now you're somehwere out there
With some bitch slut psycho babe
I hate you, why are guys so lame
Everything I gave you
I want everything back but you

TY AVRIL<33
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[12 Mar 2007|02:54pm]

Mary Ducey                                                                                                                

Mr. Sandonoto

Block 1

March 7, 2007

Rassiya Clasnya

The Russian Federation, or Rossiskaya Federatsiya, is the largest country in the world. It is both in Asia and in Europe. Russia is 6,592,800 square miles, and almost twice as big as the next largest country, Canada. There is much more to this country than the stretch of its borders. Russia is a country with an unbelievable historical background and a culture rich with tradition. Not to mention, Russia has produced some of the finest works of art, both literary and visual. Nonetheless, the intense and extremely interesting past has molded the country into the Russia we know today.

Not only is Russia in both Northern Asia and Europe, but it also borders the Arctic and Northern Pacific oceans. Along the north eastern side of Russia is an area known as Siberia. Siberia is known for it’s harsh winters and freezing temperatures. It’s one month summers prove to be harsh, however holds no comparison to the winters. The lowest temperature recorded was –96.1 F, which is absolutely unbearable, however quite remarkable. Although Siberia is freezing -literally- it still manages to produce many natural resources, which contribute to the Russian economy. Siberia has some of the largest findings of diamonds, gold, silver, and zinc. Extremely large amounts of oil and natural gas have been found in the icy site, which, yet again have helped the economy enormously.  Nevertheless, Russia isn’t completely sub-zero temperatures and doesn’t completely rely on natural resources to fuel the economy.

 Much of eastern Russia, including Moscow, relies on industry and big business to create income. Since 1998, Russia has increasingly grown economically, driven by high oil prices, consumer demand, and most recently the Russian peoples investment in stocks.  The poverty rate went down, while the middle class rate went up. However, in Russia the main exports are natural, which means slowly they are running out.  Russia does have a modern industry, but has relied on natural resources for so long that catching up with the rest of the worlds industry is proving to be a challenge. 

Russia has the same problem much of the world has – air pollution. Whether it is from means of transportation, emissions from electric plants, or any factory, the air is getting polluted. The Russian terrain is also suffering greatly due to deforestation, soil erosion, and even ground water contamination due to toxic waste. Also, in many areas there is toxic radioactive contamination due to improper disposal of toxic waste and radioactive experiments gone wrong.

Russia isn’t all freezing temperatures and radioactive waste; its history is absolutely captivating.  Just like any country, early Russia was nothing like we know it as today. Russia began becoming the Russia we know it as today when in 1547, Ivan IV was crowned the first czar, or emperor, of Russia. Then though, it was not known as Russia, but Muscovy, and was not nearly the size as it is today. Centered around present day Moscow, Muscovy was located in the western central area of present day Russia. Although nicknamed Ivan the Terrible, he did do a few things right. Ivan IV created trade with England stabilizing the economy. However, he did also start the whole entire Levonian War, which was a completely unnecessary war and could, understandably give anyone the nickname “Terrible”.

 The next most important leader of Russia was Czar Peter the Great, who reigned from 1682-1725. Peter the Great was the first czar of Russia, not just Muscovy like Ivan the Terrible. At first Czar Peter was co-ruler of Russia with his half brother Ivan V, who died in 1696. Peter the Great than began one of the most important and successful reigns out of all the czars of Russia. Peter began traveling to other European countries to see the latest technical advances and learn more so that he could go home and make his country a better place. After losing against Sweden in the Great Northern War, he began to build up the armies and military to prepare them for whatever battles lay ahead. After building up his militia, he took the areas near the Baltic Sea and defeated Sweden. He then built a new capital and city; St. Petersburg, which he believed, symbolized the new, free, modern Russia. From Ivan the Terrible, to Peter the Great, slowly but surely Russia was being molded into a powerful, significant nation.

As we move forward in time, wars are fought, lost, and won. During his reign from 1855-1881, Czar Alexander II freed serfs and ended feudalism altogether. Although it is a good idea, many farmers and aristocrats were not pleased with this and began questioning the government and became more vocal about their political views. Many argued that a monarchy wasn’t what was best for the country and the type of government should be switched to a more democratic sort of government. Most of theses groups were in fact peaceful, but some became extremely violent. Many assassination attempts were made on Czar Alexander II but were unsuccessful. However, in 1881 a bomb was thrown under the czars’ carriage and killed him. The deceased czars son, Alexander III, attempted to put an end to the revolutionary groups.

In 1905, Czar Nicholas II, who was an extremely weak leader, was confronted with a mob of 100,000 peaceful protestors outside his palace gates that were presenting him with a petition. He decided the best way to deal with it was to have police forces open fire on the crowd which included children, women, and church officials. When people attempted to flee, the police followed on horseback continuously firing at them. The estimated death rate is several thousand. After the massacre, the Czar decided to accept the peoples petition for a constitution and parliament. Because he hated the idea of it, and also due to the fact that that many radical political parties were emerging, Czar Nicholas began having re-votes and election after election until finally, due to many terrorist groups and assassination attempts, he gave his prime minister Petr Stolypin complete power. Stolypin executed many who were believed to be attempting to over through the czar.

Now, for one event in history most people know about. As made famous in the Disney movie Anastacia, the royal family reign was about to come to an end. While Czar Nicholas’ wife Alexandra consulted with a peasant named Grigory Rasputin, about her sick son, Czar Nicholas entered the country into World War I, which turned into a huge mess. While Rasputin was having sexual escapades and an extremely heavy influence politically on the czar and his family, the royal name was tarnished with scandal. The war had caused inflation, and nearly five million deaths of Russian soldiers. Food shortages emerged and the defeats of the Russian forces were extremely shameful. Rasputin was murdered in a desperate attempt to keep the Czar from complete shame. As Russia began to fall to pieces, the czar and his family were placed under house arrest. Then, on July 17, 1917, the czar and his entire family were executed. Two skeletons were not found, that of the czars’ daughter Anastacia and his son Aleksei. Legends float around that they were not killed and somehow made it out alive, however it’s quite hard for scholars, or anyone for the matter, to believe. Except for, that is, the Great Walt Disney.

Now, a name well recognized when it comes to Russian history – Vladimir Lenin. After being in exile in Switzerland, he came back to Russia with one goal, which was to get his political party, the Bolshevik Party, in control as soon as possible. The way he went about it was to exploit the weaknesses of the leaders. While the current leaders were very hesitant and reluctant when it came to talking about the war, Lenin stood very strong in his beliefs that the troops should be taken out immediately. Lenin was supported by many and was elected Chairman of the Council of Peoples Commissars. He was an advocate for free healthcare, womens rights, and believed everyone should know how to read and write. In March 1918 Lenin removed the Russian troops from World Ward I. Meanwhile, political movements still raged. Communists and traditionalists were both constantly rallying and debating until Civil war broke out, which was eventually one by the communists in 1920.

As communism ruled over Russia, a new man was about to come to power, Joseph Stalin. Stalin was the editor in chief of Pravda, which was the communist journal that cam out weekly. In 1922, Stalin was made Central Committee of the Bolshevik Party which was also known as the Communist Party. After Vladimir Lenin died in 1924, Stalin maneuvered his way to political power, taking the place of Lenin. He officially became dictator of The Soviet Union. To reassure his position of power, he killed over 14.5 million people and forced farmers all onto one giant farm to create food, to sell, to make money. In 1930, Stalin began his “great purge” in which he killed everyone who had put him in power. While on his murdering spree, he killed many military officials, which left the U.S.S.R. unprepared for World War II and somewhat forced Stalin to sign an anti-aggression act with Adolf Hitler, to avoid any military involvement. When Hitler then invaded the Soviet Union, Stalin fled for two weeks out of fear and shame. He then addressed the nation and prepared his troops for battle. All in all, during the war the Soviet Union had the second highest civilian death rate due to the Hitler and the Nazi’s who declared Soviets sub-human. The Soviet Union had the highest amount of death in the troops, over 8.5 million killed.

The Soviet people considered Stalin to be a hero, someone who defeated Hitler and his Nazi party. Russian nationalism increased due to the fame some Russian inventors and scientists were getting. Russians, adding to the patriotism, invented the airplane, the electric light bulb and the radio.

However conflict between the Soviet Union and America was far from over.  In 1945, the Cold war began with the Yalta conference where many world leaders gathered and made decisions that have shaped the world, as we know it today. At this conference, Germany was divided, the United Nations was formed, and Germany was forced to pay its war reparations. Now, the Soviet Union was about to get into some major trouble. With the death of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, President Truman came to power in the United States. He made it his goal to fight communism, as he believed it was a threat to the world. In 1947, America decided to help out the countries affected by the damages of World War II. The Soviet Union and other communist countries decline the offer just to spite the United States. Up until 1991 when the Soviet Union collapsed, America and the Soviet Union were terrified of each other. America was scared of Communism spreading and the Soviets were scared of America invading and ruining communism. While Kennedy was the president of America, Nikita Khrushchev was the leader of the Soviet Union. Khrushchev made and arrangement with Fidel Castro to have Soviet missiles placed in Cuba. Khrushchev did this because America had deployed missiles in Turkey, a little too close to Moscow, and Khrushchev felt threatened. The missiles in Cuba were extremely close to Florida and could easily be deployed to attack the United States. America especially felt threatened because not only did Khrushchev express extreme dislike towards America, but also Fidel Castro who also didn’t like the USA was now in control of the missiles. Finally, on October 28, 1962 Khrushchev agreed to get rid of the missiles. It was possibly the most dangerous threats of the Cold War.

Finally, the man credited with ending the Cold War, Mikhail Gorbachev got top party spot in March 1985. He then changed the whole political scene in Europe by taking soviet troops out of Poland, Hungary, and Czechoslovakia after communism collapsed in those countries. In 1990, Gorbachev reunited East and West Germany. He received a Nobel Peace Prize for his diplomatic efforts. On December 21, 11 representatives from Soviet states met in Alma Ata and signed the Declaration of the Commonwealth of Independent States. Four days later Gorbachev resigned and the Soviet Union was no more.

In 1999,the current president of Russia, Vladimir Putin was elected. As stated before, Russia has been doing pretty good economically despite all the past internal and foreign conflict. Russia has proven to be up to date with transportation systems and most electrical devices as the rest of the world. Not surprisingly, Russian is the official language of Russia and Russia day is celebrated on June 12. Like America, Russian political parties are broken up into many extreme sections. They have a Liberal Democratic party, a Communist party, almost all of the extremes and in-betweens you can think of. The current Russian Government is much like Americas as well. They have a president, a cabinet, and a head of government. Also, the Russian Federations flag is much like the USA’s due to the fact that it is too red, white, and blue. Now, the flag doesn’t bare any Communist symbols just the Pan-Slavic colors.

According to a poll taken in 2003, 99% of the country over the age of 15 can read and write. Which would come in extremely handy with the major authors who came out of Russia. Even writers who didn’t come out of Russia seemed to find ways to write about it. American novelist George Orwell wrote his take on the Cold War in his book Animal Farm.  Fyodor Dostoevsky is one of Russias most wellknown and admired novelists. The Brothers Karamazov is one of the most read and most loved novels written in history. It was Dostoevskys’ last book. He intended it to be the beginning of an epic story, but after taking two years to write it he died a few months after it first came out. Another amazing and well known Russian author was Vladimir Nabokov who was most known for Lolita. Lolita has a very contraversial subject. It is about a man who becomes involved with a pre-pubescent girl, named Annabell Leigh. This was taken from Edgar Allen Poes’ famous poem Annabell Lee. The novel was then turned into a movie directed by Stanley Kubrick in 1962.

Another great Russian-born writer was Ayn Rand who wrote the novel Anthem in 1938. In this literary piece, she tells the story through the eyes of a boy named Equality 7-2521, who lives in a tunnel and tells the story of his society and his background. Equality 7-2521 wants to be a scholar and always had since he was younger, however The Council of Vocations assigned him to be a street sweeper instead. During the story, Equality 7-2521 tells the audience of how when he was ten he saw the excecution of the Transgressor of the Unspeakable Word, “I”. They locked eyes as he was burning and Equality 7-2521 believed he was a disciple of the Transgressor of the Unspeakable Word. Equality 7-2521 is extremely bright and he shows us that when we see he has invented the light bulb. He immidiatly becomes excited and plans to go to the World Council of Scholars to present it to them. On his way, he meets The Golden One and they immediately fall in love, even though they aren’t allowed to speak to each other, he still does. Once, he drinks from her hands and it reminds him of  The Palace of Mating where citizens are sent once a year to mate. He then is late returning to The Home of the Street Sweepers and is sent to the Palace of Corrective Detention, where he is tortured. He manages to break out and makes his way over to The World Council to show them his light bulb that he is extremely proud of. However, the World Council rejects him out of fear and threaten to have him killed and destroy his light bulb. Because his light bulb is his most prized posession, he refuses and runs and seeks refuge into the Uncharted Forrest, where he can do as he pleases. The Golden One follows him into the forrest and they vow to live together forever and create a new race of man that celebrates being an individual. Weird story? Not at all.

This story is clearly “reflecting how Ayn Rand felt in a communist nation” (Sciabarra 53). When the Bolsheviks took control of Russia no one had the freedom to do as they wanted. Communism is a good idea on paper, “but as soon as people got involved it all went to hell”, as Ayn Rand was quoted as saying (O’Neil 86). Like a lot of Russian writers, Ayn Rand wrote about the issues that she knew. At the time the book was written in 1938, the Bolshevik Revolution had taken place about twenty years before hand and communism was at it peek, whereas the country’s’ morale was at a low. Anthem showed how Communism could never ever work.

Russian poets and authors have been topping the charts of best sellers and most influential books of all time. Perhaps it is the culture in which these artists and philosophers came from, as Russia did undergo many political changes, some for the better, some for the worst. Regardless, one thing that is certain, the history of the country is epic enough and the works of literature that come out of the biggest country in the world live up to the larger-than-life Russian landscape and truly become larger than life.

 






I WROPTE THE WHOLE THING AT 4AM I LOVE MY LIFE.

 

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[08 Mar 2007|11:14am]
When we two parted
  In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted
  To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
  Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
  Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
  Sunk chill on my brow--
It felt like the warning
  Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
  And light is thy fame;
I hear thy name spoken,
  And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
  A knell to mine ear;
A shrudder comes o'er me--
  Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
  Who knew thee so well--
Long, long I shall rue thee,
  Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met—
  In silence I grieve,
That thy heart could forget,
  Thy spirit deceive
If I should meet thee
  After long years,
How should I greet thee?--
  With silence and tears.
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[07 Mar 2007|03:31pm]

WARM OCTOBER NIGHTS.

oh lol. dude, not talking to simon anymore has made my life so much better, i might be a little bitter, a little meaner, which is good. no more being pushed over. but so far, i've smoked mad blunts, gotten invited into a threesome, learned how to change oil in a car, danced forever, gotten an awesome fitted hat, and a social life that RULES. but i'm most excited about the morristown people i've been chillin with. senior year rules, no one even cares anymore it's so fuckin fun. siiiiiick.

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[06 Mar 2007|09:56am]

i'll forget that you forgot about me.


i'm done with everything. i still haven't cried once, which doesn't say much. i feel like my head is going to explode out of complete frustration. just with everything. everything is falling apart and i can't do anything about it, except try to move on. move on from everything. this is why i want to go to school far away. there is nothing in new jersey for me except drama queens and idiots. i'm so tired of everything. i've become a zombie trying not to be emotional about anything, i'm going to explode soon. i have no outlet for anything. there's no one. i just want a big hug from someone who actually cares. i feel like my heart is turning into slush, i dont want that obv. i just can't take everything. i love helping people and making people happy but i can't take it. i can't take everyone elses problems on top of my list of shit that keeps piling up. i want to be there for people, but i'm destroying myself over all of this.I want to live like I did before all this hit, to sleep in your arms, to think we'll never fall apart. and oh you know it's, you know it's such a drag to live your life for a heart attack, to never get a second chance to say goodbye.

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